It never fails. Sometime during this week when DH and the family are enjoying their primitive pee-in-the-wild (and believe me when I tell you I could do a whole post on peeing in the wild, from both gender's points of view...*eyeroll*), something invariably goes wrong. With an appliance, a pipe, an animal.....it never fails. Since I only have 1day to go until the horde comes home, I foolishly thought I was home free. Enter the psychotic dog. We discussed a little earlier in the week that caring for the dogs while the males are gone is just a big pain for me. They are hunting dogs, high strung and the only time they show the least bit of brain power is when they're out in the wilderness sniffing for pheasants. We've also already established that I'm not a dog person....no offense to those of you who are. Dogs are perfectly acceptable as long as I don't have to deal with them. Back to the psychotic dog.
One of our dogs needs a name change. Right now his name is Laser. His name should be Houdini. He needed to be a cast member of The Great Escape. He's a Griffin Wire Hair Pointer. We used to have a dog house in the middle of the kennel. He would get on top of it and jump over the fence. We took the dog house out. The kennel is made of chain link. He has developed the ability to pull on the links with his teeth until he stretches them so far out of shape, that he can slip through the widened hole. So we wired plywood all around the bottom two feet of the kennel so he couldn't get at the places he's been know to go after. Well, guess who met me in the driveway this morning as I went to feed the beasts. Yes. Houdini. And he'd obviously had a great night of cavorting in some kind of water and doing heaven-knows-what else. I headed out to the kennel and sure enough, he's worked a hole right above where the plywood is. A hole that's not more than 6 inches in diameter and he's wiggled out through it. To top it off, the dog has an infallible sense of direction and after his nights on the town, always comes home for breakfast.
I need to digress here. Point number one is that I'm a chubby woman. Built just like my mom and boy, isn't genetics a crap shoot? I couldn't get the tall, lean genes of my grandfather. No, my baby brother got those. So I've got my chubby frame bent over this hole in the chain link, trying to vainly bend the loops back into some semblance of their previous shape, using scraps of wire to twist them around, thinking that it might be able to hold the dog until I can go to the , *sigh* farm supply store to get some more wire to weave in the hole. Farm supply stores are like those big, scary building supply places, where I always feel so lost and dumb. And THIS DOG is making it so my whole morning is going to be spent either in farm supply store H*** or out by the stinky kennel weaving wire in this stupid hole. Stupid dog.
Digressing again to point number two. I grew up in a fairly typical Mormon family. The exception was that my dad, like his mother before him, could swear a blue streak when he got angry. I don't know if that's a nature or nurture thing, but I seem to have "inherited" this failing. When I get really frustrated, my language really deteriorates. It's a fault I've worked on my entire adult life, and I have a pretty good handle on it most of the time. But on rare occasions, it bursts forth, much to my chagrin. So you have to have the visual here.....early morning beastie-feeding session and me and my chubby body and my irritated mouth are having a party out by the dog kennel as the wet dog cheerfully waits to be let INTO the kennel. I finally get done with my ad hoc repair job and head into the house so I can get ready to go to the farm supply place. And you can imagine how I'm feeling about that. And I look out the window and see that you-know-what kind of a dog racing down the street.....